While at work, I had a customer walk up to me and ask if the sodas in the fridge were cold. If I hadn't realized that she was completely serious, I would have said no.
Outside of this blog, I am spinelessly-nice. I have no back bone. There is no way for me to say "NO!" It's just impossible, and now it's screwing me in the ass like no other.
I have two friends who absolutely suffocate me. One of them is so clingy that my coworkers hide me when he shows up at my work. The other has only started hanging out with me five days ago, and I'm already set to pop her in the mouth the next time she clings to me. Today, I decided to go against my usual spinelessly-nice attitude, and make a joke about how close she scooted towards me today at dinner. Despite the fact that I said it in a joking manner and laughed, she still walked away looking like she was about to cry.
I came about this person because one night last week, I found her crying in my hallway. I asked her what was the matter, and she said that her friends didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I invited her to hang out with me for a while, and then found to regret it. I told her I had plans later that night with a study group, and she wouldn't let me go. I was about fourteen minutes late because of how incredibly clingy she was.
I am not sure how to talk to her about how clingy she is without making her cry. If I can't even joke about it, how can I have a serious conversation without crushing her?
But I guess it's better to be nice and still make her cry than to lose it and punch her in the face.
In other news, the Ice Bear is back. I'm guessing she's having a turf war with someone else, though, because every morning I make it to the showers, it's warm in the bathroom. Today I had to get up incredibly early, and when I went to shower, the bathroom was incredibly cold. I found the thermostat was set to 55 degrees again.
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Psuedo Genius
A series of text messages between me and my sister:
Me: Roses are red, Violets are blue.
I don't like rhyming. Zebra.
Sis: ?
Me: What?
Sis: I don't get it.
Me: How do you not get it? Seriously, give your diploma back.
Sis: Well, Boyfriend doesn't get it either!
Me: You must be trolling me. There's no way you're this dumb.
Sis: No! I don't get it! Is it because zebras have stripes?
Me: ...
Sis: Well, it doesn't make sense, because it's not because nothing rhymes with 'zebra'. Lots of words rhyme with 'zebra'! So it doesn't make sense!
Me: Yes, but none of those words are 'blue'...
Sis: Oh! haha.... um....
Me: You suck the fun out of everything.
Sis: Hehe ^_^
Me: Roses are red, Violets are blue.
I don't like rhyming. Zebra.
Sis: ?
Me: What?
Sis: I don't get it.
Me: How do you not get it? Seriously, give your diploma back.
Sis: Well, Boyfriend doesn't get it either!
Me: You must be trolling me. There's no way you're this dumb.
Sis: No! I don't get it! Is it because zebras have stripes?
Me: ...
Sis: Well, it doesn't make sense, because it's not because nothing rhymes with 'zebra'. Lots of words rhyme with 'zebra'! So it doesn't make sense!
Me: Yes, but none of those words are 'blue'...
Sis: Oh! haha.... um....
Me: You suck the fun out of everything.
Sis: Hehe ^_^
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Master of Metal
My first week of classes for this semester, I sat down in my new bean bag chair to do homework. About an hour later, I woke up choking. It turns out that I fell asleep with my head back, and I started to drown in my own drool. Lesson learned: Don't do homework in bean bag chairs without a swimming buddy.
I've recently been stocking up on security devices for emergency cases. One of the items I bought was a small LED flash light. It came with a cute little strap for wrapping my fingers around. Unfortunately, the flash light does not come with a place to attach the strap, thus rendering the strap to be utterly useless to me.
The Ice Bear moved out before winter break, but a new specimen has replaced her: the Shower Hog. I waited for fifty six minutes to get in the shower because she decided the morning was when one takes luxurious, 35 minute showers, despite the fact that the girl in the shower before her only took twelve.
I had a very interesting customer come through my line a week ago. When he came up, he awkwardly started blathering on about how he didn't know a thing about hairspray, and how he couldn't understand why his wife asked him to purchase it for her. His hair happened to appear meticulously groomed. After he finally realized that I didn't give two shakes of a broken ipod's worth of care about his hair spray, he then had to set in on the freshly raining icy weather:
"I hope it clears up out there. I can't stand the idea of a tiny little thing like you driving around out there. I'd hate for you to get in an accident. You need to be very careful in weather like this, and sometimes that's not enough. Why would they make such fragile, young creatures such as yourself come to work on days like this?" Blah blah blah.
It was all I had not to say, "Sir, I grew up on the Mississippi. If I can't drive out there, there's a snow ball's chance in hell that anyone else could." Instead, I just nodded and mm-hmm'd.
A little while later, a woman wearing sandals and those foam toe separators used for pedicures came through my line, so my guess is, it wasn't as bad as he made it sound to be. And, since I had driven to work that morning, and had no problem then (with the exception of fish-tailing perfectly into my parking spot), I'm just gonna go on ahead and assume I'm right.
A chick that I went to high school with recently posted a status about moving to a city, and being lonely. This is the same city that a friend of mine moved to several years ago. I sent a text to my friend saying that this chick was new to the city, and that she was lonely. Her response?
"Hahahahahaahahahahaha!"
Oh, I should mention that this chick was incredibly mean to me and my friend while we still went to school together.
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley
I've recently been stocking up on security devices for emergency cases. One of the items I bought was a small LED flash light. It came with a cute little strap for wrapping my fingers around. Unfortunately, the flash light does not come with a place to attach the strap, thus rendering the strap to be utterly useless to me.
The Ice Bear moved out before winter break, but a new specimen has replaced her: the Shower Hog. I waited for fifty six minutes to get in the shower because she decided the morning was when one takes luxurious, 35 minute showers, despite the fact that the girl in the shower before her only took twelve.
I had a very interesting customer come through my line a week ago. When he came up, he awkwardly started blathering on about how he didn't know a thing about hairspray, and how he couldn't understand why his wife asked him to purchase it for her. His hair happened to appear meticulously groomed. After he finally realized that I didn't give two shakes of a broken ipod's worth of care about his hair spray, he then had to set in on the freshly raining icy weather:
"I hope it clears up out there. I can't stand the idea of a tiny little thing like you driving around out there. I'd hate for you to get in an accident. You need to be very careful in weather like this, and sometimes that's not enough. Why would they make such fragile, young creatures such as yourself come to work on days like this?" Blah blah blah.
It was all I had not to say, "Sir, I grew up on the Mississippi. If I can't drive out there, there's a snow ball's chance in hell that anyone else could." Instead, I just nodded and mm-hmm'd.
A little while later, a woman wearing sandals and those foam toe separators used for pedicures came through my line, so my guess is, it wasn't as bad as he made it sound to be. And, since I had driven to work that morning, and had no problem then (with the exception of fish-tailing perfectly into my parking spot), I'm just gonna go on ahead and assume I'm right.
A chick that I went to high school with recently posted a status about moving to a city, and being lonely. This is the same city that a friend of mine moved to several years ago. I sent a text to my friend saying that this chick was new to the city, and that she was lonely. Her response?
"Hahahahahaahahahahaha!"
Oh, I should mention that this chick was incredibly mean to me and my friend while we still went to school together.
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Betrayed Pup
I am lost,
Crushed forever beneath the weight of a thousand seas.
Gone is my breath and my beauty.
As the water crashes down upon my blouse,
I cannot help but feel the drowning.
Crushed forever beneath the weight of a thousand seas.
Gone is my breath and my beauty.
As the water crashes down upon my blouse,
I cannot help but feel the drowning.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Forbidful Sprite
Many people, in an effort to show support of things their religion reject, share a statement to summarize their philosophy.
Hate the sin, not the sinner.
My own philosophy was based off of this statement, but not quite in the same way. I found this statement to not only seem close minded, but also a tad pessimistic. I felt that it was a glass-half-empty idea. As a result, I formed my own idea of how to take people in, using a statement I've borrowed from my friends.
Love thy neighbor.
Let's first address a possible thought that would immediately spring to mind should one read this: I understand that my friends did not come up with this statement, but instead it is from the Bible. Let me make clear: The Bible is part of my friends; indeed, it is the very heart of their beliefs, and thus it is my friends. While it may not define their every thought, it is still a part of them as though it were a limb; one's arm does not define their body, but it is vital to their identity as human.
After having watched a film in a class about the emotions and actions that take place to soldiers while stationed over seas, I have realized that my own philosophical summary is rather closed as well. Not being familiar with the context of the quote, I looked it up.
Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19:18
Love thy neighbor as thyself. But what does one do if thy neighbor does not love thee? There is no address of this. Do we simply respect those who wish or inflict harm, despite their actions? Or do we treat them as they treat us? My small amount of research says both; the two main interpretations of this are conflicting with each other. Human emotions call for the latter, yet divine expectations call for the first. Humans are flawed.
"I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it." -Albert Einstein
Hate the sin, not the sinner.
My own philosophy was based off of this statement, but not quite in the same way. I found this statement to not only seem close minded, but also a tad pessimistic. I felt that it was a glass-half-empty idea. As a result, I formed my own idea of how to take people in, using a statement I've borrowed from my friends.
Love thy neighbor.
Let's first address a possible thought that would immediately spring to mind should one read this: I understand that my friends did not come up with this statement, but instead it is from the Bible. Let me make clear: The Bible is part of my friends; indeed, it is the very heart of their beliefs, and thus it is my friends. While it may not define their every thought, it is still a part of them as though it were a limb; one's arm does not define their body, but it is vital to their identity as human.
After having watched a film in a class about the emotions and actions that take place to soldiers while stationed over seas, I have realized that my own philosophical summary is rather closed as well. Not being familiar with the context of the quote, I looked it up.
Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
Leviticus 19:18
Love thy neighbor as thyself. But what does one do if thy neighbor does not love thee? There is no address of this. Do we simply respect those who wish or inflict harm, despite their actions? Or do we treat them as they treat us? My small amount of research says both; the two main interpretations of this are conflicting with each other. Human emotions call for the latter, yet divine expectations call for the first. Humans are flawed.
"I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it." -Albert Einstein
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Queen of the Crawlies
Awesome is the ability to put down all notes on a single note card in an organized manner. Wonderful is being able to find said note card each time you have a new note. Horrendous is losing the note card shortly before writing a new blog post.
Looks like I'm doing it by memory tonight.
At work, a little girl came behind the register and watched me while I checked out her mom's groceries. After some time spent examining me, she exclaimed "She has a tiny head!" Her mom tried to cover it up by saying, "Yes, she has a beautiful head."
Recently, in one of my classes, my professor handed me a stack of papers to pass back. I handed a few copies to those on my left, as there were only three people, and handed the rest of the papers to my left. A few minutes later, I realized I forgot to give myself one. And as I realized this, I said it out loud. My professor, having heard this, announced it to the class so she could procure another copy from the back of the room. This was incredibly embarrassing.
For the past couple of days, I have become detached from the world. This is one of those occasions where I am not all there. I realize it, but there is no fixing it. I have to wait it out, and hope that my peers understand and accept it.
These are the most valuable times for me, though. It is in this situation where I can understand the actions of fellow humans the most. This is when I can observe, predict, study, and conclude about the reasons behind behaviors. It is because of this odd detachment that I am most attached to the subconscious minds of others.
It is incredibly odd, though. This gift allows for me to understand things about others that they themselves are only just realizing. A simple twitch can denote anger if in the correct location. I see it, and then I retreat while they start forming defensive strategies.
This is not to say that I understand everything. Proof of this is that I still have yet to understand why so many become aggressive, and even violent, while discussing their religions with others. I myself am of a highly harassed belief system, yet I do not attack with Biblical quotes or ostracization. I rarely even talk about my beliefs, as I have discovered that by even mentioning them in an academic, historical context, there will always be others around who attack.
The title of this blog is not in the spirit of Halloween, but merely a reflection of a student of mine, who recently caught a praying mantis only to have it stolen and destroyed by another student.
"All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers. " -Francois Fenelon
Looks like I'm doing it by memory tonight.
At work, a little girl came behind the register and watched me while I checked out her mom's groceries. After some time spent examining me, she exclaimed "She has a tiny head!" Her mom tried to cover it up by saying, "Yes, she has a beautiful head."
Recently, in one of my classes, my professor handed me a stack of papers to pass back. I handed a few copies to those on my left, as there were only three people, and handed the rest of the papers to my left. A few minutes later, I realized I forgot to give myself one. And as I realized this, I said it out loud. My professor, having heard this, announced it to the class so she could procure another copy from the back of the room. This was incredibly embarrassing.
For the past couple of days, I have become detached from the world. This is one of those occasions where I am not all there. I realize it, but there is no fixing it. I have to wait it out, and hope that my peers understand and accept it.
These are the most valuable times for me, though. It is in this situation where I can understand the actions of fellow humans the most. This is when I can observe, predict, study, and conclude about the reasons behind behaviors. It is because of this odd detachment that I am most attached to the subconscious minds of others.
It is incredibly odd, though. This gift allows for me to understand things about others that they themselves are only just realizing. A simple twitch can denote anger if in the correct location. I see it, and then I retreat while they start forming defensive strategies.
This is not to say that I understand everything. Proof of this is that I still have yet to understand why so many become aggressive, and even violent, while discussing their religions with others. I myself am of a highly harassed belief system, yet I do not attack with Biblical quotes or ostracization. I rarely even talk about my beliefs, as I have discovered that by even mentioning them in an academic, historical context, there will always be others around who attack.
The title of this blog is not in the spirit of Halloween, but merely a reflection of a student of mine, who recently caught a praying mantis only to have it stolen and destroyed by another student.
"All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers. " -Francois Fenelon
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Terpsichore
I'm gonna dance dance dance
Without pants pants pants!
I'm gonna dance dance dance
Without pants pants pants!
I'm gonna do the twist
And shake my butt!
I'm gonna dance dance dance
Without pants pants pants!
This wouldn't let me go to sleep last night.
"Dance like there's nobody watching." -William Purkey
Without pants pants pants!
I'm gonna dance dance dance
Without pants pants pants!
I'm gonna do the twist
And shake my butt!
I'm gonna dance dance dance
Without pants pants pants!
This wouldn't let me go to sleep last night.
"Dance like there's nobody watching." -William Purkey
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