My first week of classes for this semester, I sat down in my new bean bag chair to do homework. About an hour later, I woke up choking. It turns out that I fell asleep with my head back, and I started to drown in my own drool. Lesson learned: Don't do homework in bean bag chairs without a swimming buddy.
I've recently been stocking up on security devices for emergency cases. One of the items I bought was a small LED flash light. It came with a cute little strap for wrapping my fingers around. Unfortunately, the flash light does not come with a place to attach the strap, thus rendering the strap to be utterly useless to me.
The Ice Bear moved out before winter break, but a new specimen has replaced her: the Shower Hog. I waited for fifty six minutes to get in the shower because she decided the morning was when one takes luxurious, 35 minute showers, despite the fact that the girl in the shower before her only took twelve.
I had a very interesting customer come through my line a week ago. When he came up, he awkwardly started blathering on about how he didn't know a thing about hairspray, and how he couldn't understand why his wife asked him to purchase it for her. His hair happened to appear meticulously groomed. After he finally realized that I didn't give two shakes of a broken ipod's worth of care about his hair spray, he then had to set in on the freshly raining icy weather:
"I hope it clears up out there. I can't stand the idea of a tiny little thing like you driving around out there. I'd hate for you to get in an accident. You need to be very careful in weather like this, and sometimes that's not enough. Why would they make such fragile, young creatures such as yourself come to work on days like this?" Blah blah blah.
It was all I had not to say, "Sir, I grew up on the Mississippi. If I can't drive out there, there's a snow ball's chance in hell that anyone else could." Instead, I just nodded and mm-hmm'd.
A little while later, a woman wearing sandals and those foam toe separators used for pedicures came through my line, so my guess is, it wasn't as bad as he made it sound to be. And, since I had driven to work that morning, and had no problem then (with the exception of fish-tailing perfectly into my parking spot), I'm just gonna go on ahead and assume I'm right.
A chick that I went to high school with recently posted a status about moving to a city, and being lonely. This is the same city that a friend of mine moved to several years ago. I sent a text to my friend saying that this chick was new to the city, and that she was lonely. Her response?
"Hahahahahaahahahahaha!"
Oh, I should mention that this chick was incredibly mean to me and my friend while we still went to school together.
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley
