Suffocating Moth

While at work, I had a customer walk up to me and ask if the sodas in the fridge were cold. If I hadn't realized that she was completely serious, I would have said no. 

Outside of this blog, I am spinelessly-nice. I have no back bone. There is no way for me to say "NO!"  It's just impossible, and now it's screwing me in the ass like no other.

 I have two friends who absolutely suffocate me. One of them is so clingy that my coworkers hide me when he shows up at my work. The other has only started hanging out with me five days ago, and I'm already set to pop her in the mouth the next time she clings to me. Today, I decided to go against my usual spinelessly-nice attitude, and make a joke about how close she scooted towards me today at dinner. Despite the fact that I said it in a joking manner and laughed, she still walked away looking like she was about to cry.

I came about this person because one night last week, I found her crying in my hallway.  I asked her what was the matter, and she said that her friends didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I invited her to hang out with me for a while, and then found to regret it. I told her I had plans later that night with a study group, and she wouldn't let me go. I was about fourteen minutes late because of how incredibly clingy she was.

I am not sure how to talk to her about how clingy she is without making her cry. If I can't even joke about it, how can I have a serious conversation without crushing her?

But I guess it's better to be nice and still make her cry than to lose it and punch her in the face.

In other news, the Ice Bear is back. I'm guessing she's having a turf war with someone else, though, because every morning I make it to the showers, it's warm in the bathroom. Today I had to get up incredibly early, and when I went to shower, the bathroom was incredibly cold. I found the thermostat was set to 55 degrees again.

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby

Psuedo Genius

A series of text messages between me and my sister:

Me: Roses are red, Violets are blue.
I don't like rhyming. Zebra.

Sis: ?

Me: What?

Sis: I don't get it.

Me: How do you not get it? Seriously, give your diploma back.

Sis: Well, Boyfriend doesn't get it either!

Me: You must be trolling me. There's no way you're this dumb.

Sis: No! I don't get it! Is it because zebras have stripes?

Me: ...

Sis: Well, it doesn't make sense, because it's not because nothing rhymes with 'zebra'. Lots of words rhyme with 'zebra'! So it doesn't make sense!

Me: Yes, but none of those words are 'blue'...

Sis: Oh! haha.... um....

Me: You suck the fun out of everything.

Sis: Hehe ^_^

Master of Metal

My first week of classes for this semester, I sat down in my new bean bag chair to do homework. About an hour later, I woke up choking. It turns out that I fell asleep with my head back, and I started to drown in my own drool. Lesson learned: Don't do homework in bean bag chairs without a swimming buddy.

I've recently been stocking up on security devices for emergency cases. One of the items I bought was a small LED flash light. It came with a cute little strap for wrapping my fingers around. Unfortunately, the flash light does not come with a place to attach the strap, thus rendering the strap to be utterly useless to me.

The Ice Bear moved out before winter break, but a new specimen has replaced her: the Shower Hog.  I waited for fifty six minutes to get in the shower because she decided the morning was when one takes luxurious, 35 minute showers, despite the fact that the girl in the shower before her only took twelve.

I had a very interesting customer come through my line a week ago.  When he came up, he awkwardly started blathering on about how he didn't know a thing about hairspray, and how he couldn't understand why his wife asked him to purchase it for her.  His hair happened to appear meticulously groomed.  After he finally realized that I didn't give two shakes of a broken ipod's worth of care about his hair spray, he then had to set in on the freshly raining icy weather:

"I hope it clears up out there. I can't stand the idea of a tiny little thing like you driving around out there. I'd hate for you to get in an accident.  You need to be very careful in weather like this, and sometimes that's not enough. Why would they make such fragile, young creatures such as yourself come to work on days like this?" Blah blah blah.

It was all I had not to say, "Sir, I grew up on the Mississippi. If I can't drive out there, there's a snow ball's chance in hell that anyone else could."  Instead, I just nodded and mm-hmm'd.

A little while later, a woman wearing sandals and those foam toe separators used for pedicures came through my line, so my guess is, it wasn't as bad as he made it sound to be.  And, since I had driven to work that morning, and had no problem then (with the exception of fish-tailing perfectly into my parking spot), I'm just gonna go on ahead and assume I'm right.

A chick that I went to high school with recently posted a status about moving to a city, and being lonely. This is the same city that a friend of mine moved to several years ago.  I sent a text to my friend saying that this chick was new to the city, and that she was lonely. Her response?

"Hahahahahaahahahahaha!"

Oh, I should mention that this chick was incredibly mean to me and my friend while we still went to school together.

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley

Betrayed Pup

I am lost,
Crushed forever beneath the weight of a thousand seas.
Gone is my breath and my beauty.
As the water crashes down upon my blouse,
I cannot help but feel the drowning.